How Do I Overcome Doubt?
A business coaching client recently asked me, “Hey Ryan, Some days I feel super confident and on top of the world, and other days I feel doubt that takes over. What is the best way to get over self doubt?”
I like the question because this challenge is universal. We all face self doubt at times. When evaluating the viability of a particular path, there is a period of time when a dose of healthy skepticism may be appropriate and may even save you from making a poor choice. However, once you decide to commit to a particular goal or path of action, the time for doubt is over. Once you commit and engage, doubt only holds you back and takes the wind out of your sales.
I invite you to see your doubt as a Gremlin. Your skeptical thoughts are not the truth. They are just thoughts. They are the voice of the Gremlin. There is no need to destroy the Gremlin. Resisting him or her will only make her seem more real. Instead, recognize those doubting thoughts for what they are…lies told by the Gremlin. Don’t give them any energy. Instead, recognize your power to choose which thoughts to believe, and your power to act in spite of doubt. Awareness, choice, and action are the cures for doubt. The Gremlin will try to trick you by pretending it is there to protect you. However, believing the Gremlin will only kill your aliveness and your sense of what is possible.
Believing in yourself and in your dream is like a muscle that you can build with practice. It will never be perfect. It will continue to fluctuate and will always be a work in progress. So, if you experience doubt, don’t worry, this is normal. If you weren’t experiencing any doubt, then you probably wouldn’t be going for a big enough goal. When you experience doubt, just patiently bring yourself back to “belief”, over and over again, and you will continue to build that muscle stronger.
---Ryan Eliason is a professional life and business coach with a proven track record of business success. His small business clients have frequently doubled or tripled their incomes, increased their positive impact, and simultaneously improved their lifestyles. Subscribe to this blog. Download your FREE audio seminar and workbook on How To Have The Best Year of Your Business and Your Life.
BUSINESS COACHING
9 Responses Leave a comment
Hi Ryan:
I came across your blog and in reading this subject, it really grabbed me and pulled me in. I like to see myself as a very confident and driven individual, but sometimes what you call a “gremlin” creeps in and derails me, especially when things don’t go my way as fast as I’d like it to. I definitely fall into the category of a person that tries to ignore or squash this negative feeling or thought and it never seems to help because it always comes back .. bigger and stronger than ever. How do you know or differentiate between it being your natural instinct, which is right in protecting you, or if it is a gremlin that is just your doubt, fear, skepticism rearing it’s ugly head?
Thank you,
Alisha
Alisha:
What a great question! I wish there was a step-by-step formula I could give you for telling the difference between what you call “your natural instinct” and the gremlin. Learning to tell the difference is more of an art than a science. There is a difference between your “inner knowing” and simple fear, doubt, and limiting thoughts or beliefs. Sometimes your intuition is speaking to you, and guiding you away from a particular path that is not right for you. Other times it is simply your fear trying to muck things up. These two experiences are similar, however, there is a subtle difference in how they feel. Your inner knowing, or intuition, feels more calm and centered — change might be called for, however there is a feeling of acceptance for the way things are already and the choices you have been making. On the other hand, fear and doubt (the gremlin) tends to have a different feeling underlying the thoughts. This feeling is more constricting, as if what you want is not possible no matter what method you might try. The difference in how these experiences can feel is subtle. It takes patience and practice to learn to tell the difference. If you want to explore this topic further, a great book is Taming Your Gremlin by Rick Carson. Good luck!
- Ryan
Hey Ryan – Great blogsite! I’m sure that people will benefit by having more of your coaching advice available online.
Hi Ryan, I love this post. In my life, it requires constant awareness to tame the voice of doubt. I have a box of short encouraging notes that helps me counter this voice. The notes are from a grad school exercise, they each start with; ‘You are…’ and people wrote things like – ‘you are smart’ ‘you are a great friend’ ‘you are brave’. I’ve added cards of encouragement to this box too. During times when doubt is around more often, such as when I moved back to Vermont to start my practice, I try to start my day by reading one note. I think this ritual helps build that self belief muscle you are speaking about and head off the Gremlin.
When I work with clients, I like to use a Narrative technique and personify the Gremlin by asking some questions – What is the Gremlin’s goal? Who is the Gremlin friends with? What kind of tricks does the Gremlin use? When is the Gremlin most often around? Are there times when the Gremlin is not around? What’s around instead? I am always amazed by how much power the Gremlin managed acquire! Just like many problems, it’s easier to address it when you know what it is!
Thanks again for your post.
Sarah
hi ryan…this doubt gremlin does not rear it’s head very often, instead i go directly to fear, which is different. when in the fear mode it is paralizing. doubt is like a qestion you can answer, something to be addressed, a purposeful counter balance. i wish my brain would go to doubt before “now what do i do” mode.
thanks for making me think.
dale
Hi Ryan,
This is a great blog. I love the new design, very clean, simple, and accessible. The content is great too! Keep up the good work, and thanks for sharing…
Erik
Love the new blog Ryan! I like clean, simple blogs that are easy to read.
Gremlins can be very clever and love to distract us. I remember some great Gremlin tips from Taming Your Gremlin like naming your Gremlin and describing your Gremlin’s physical details so you’ll recognize it when it appears. When the Gremlin does appear you can send it on vacation or just make it disappear like magic!
Hey Ted- I also found those strategies from Taming Your Gremlin helpful and so have many of my clients. I like to give the Gremlin a name, gender, age, size, appearance, personality, etc. and also send the gremlin on vacation. It can also be empowering if you’re doing a specific task that tends to bring out the Gremlin, to write down what the Gremlin is saying, then report back to your coach. It can give you both a good laugh and tends to decrease the Gremlin’s subconscious hold.
Brilliant idea, keep up the good work of believing in all of us.